It was enough
by Zoe Nguyen
Summary: Peter would eventually get over his grief and come out stronger (after all, Yondu had taught Peter to be tough so the boy could survive with his so soft a heart). In the end, it was more than enough for Yondu Udonta.


**A/N: Guardians of the Galaxy vol.2 broke my heart. I've watched this movie in cinema three times now, and I'm contemplating the fourth.**

 **This is, sadly, not a fix-it. Maybe I'll write one if I have inspiration. I don't include the funeral in here because the funeral was perfect in the movie (at least to me).**

* * *

" _Sometimes, the thing you've been looking for your whole life is right there beside you all along."_ – Peter Quill.

 _ **Yondu**_ (That heartbreaking final moment)

They say when you die, your life flashes before your eyes. What a load of crap. Because in front of his eyes, there wasn't anything else but the face of the Terran boy he kept/raised for more than 20 years, probably almost 30 years. His mind didn't wander (much) to his departure from this fucked up life. For him, it was enough. All his regret, sadness and fear were solely focus on his ex-cargo kid, Peter Jason Quill. He didn't regret his tragic shitty life. No. He regretted not giving Peter a less shitty life. He wasn't sad that he didn't have more time to know what having family and friends felt like. He was sad that it took longer than necessary for Peter to have some friends and a blurry sense of a family. He definitely didn't fear death (he chose to die.) He feared Peter's reaction toward his death.

The boy's face was first stunned, then twisted in agony and hysteric denial of reality. Yondu totally saw that coming. Peter desperately tried to give the suit back to him, but Yondu had made sure that was impossible. The pained cries of: "No! No! No!" muffled by the spacesuit sounded like gunshots. Yondu couldn't say anything, didn't have anything left to say. He had said everything that needed to be said:

" _He [Ego] may have been your father but he wasn't your daddy."_

" _I'm sorry I didn't do none of it right, I was lucky you were my boy."_

Then Peter was crying. Life sure has a crazy sense of humor. The first time Yondu met Peter, the boy was crying. The last time Yondu saw Peter, the boy was also crying. What to do? With (extreme) difficulty, he raised his hands to touch the boy's face one last time. What he was trying to say probably was somewhere along the line of: "I'm okay with this boy, and you're gonna be okay." He hoped that was enough.

There were so many messed up things happening, but there was a fucked-up poetic justice, too. He was dying just like his loyal crew members did. Space was vast and cold, sucking the life out of him. Yet there was a difference. He was not alone. Peter, his boy, was alive and right there in front of him, holding him, crying for him. He also knew that Peter would eventually get over his grief and come out stronger (after all, Yondu had taught Peter to be tough so the boy could survive with his so soft a heart). In the end, it was more than enough for Yondu Udonta.

* * *

 _ **Peter**_

Peter didn't know how long it had been. He didn't care. Yondu, the guy who threatened to eat him and kill him all the time, sacrificed himself so that Peter could live. Just moments before, the bag of dicks that was his biological father just dissolved in his hands and Peter didn't have time to wrap his mind about the death of the last of his blood. Right after that, Yondu decided to leave him, too. Peter bitterly thought that he must have had a really fucked-up disease to basically hold all three of his parental figures as they died in front of his eyes. A fleeting fear crossed his mind: Would the same thing happen to his friends? But he was too busy grieving and crying for Yondu to dwell on that thought for long. There was this big painful lump in his throat. Tears were running down his face. The feeling of Yondu's soft touch on his face (blocked by the goddamn suit) would undoubtedly haunt him forever along with his final words.

Before Peter realized it, he was in a ship, still clutching Yondu's body tightly like he would never let go (he knew that he never wanted to let go). He was still sobbing and bawling like the kid Yondu kidnapped all those years ago. It felt like his tears could not run out. All the pain, the grief, the rage kept making water roll out of his eyes like a goddamn river.

"No, please, no, Yondu you son of a bitch… No…"

His voice was quivering, words seemed to get stuck in his aching throat. Shivers racked his body like he caught a very violent cold.

"You don't get to pull this shit… No, you hear me? NO!"

He didn't realize there were people surrounding him, talking to him, trying to touch him. He didn't even realize he was struggling out of their reach like a wild animal. Everything about him was like a wild animal. Eyes not leaving Yondu's face, Peter heard a woman pleading:

"Please Peter, you have to let him go." Gamora then.

He probably growled at her.

"Quill, you're safe, it's over." Drax. Well, Peter didn't want this to be over. He wanted to kill Ego a second time.

"I am Groot." Groot's gentle voice did nothing to soothe the horrible pain away. It just made Peter feel worse, acting like a beast with all his violent emotions while being near to fragile little Groot.

"There's nothing you can do for him anymore, let him go, Peter."

Hearing Rocket's voice, Peter just lost it:

"Yeah? Like you didn't do anything for him down there? Fuck off!" Peter yelled, loud broken words spat out of his mouth like venom.

With a sudden urge to attack Rocket, Peter nearly leapt forward before he was held back by two big strong arms. Drax spoke softly but firmly:

"Peter, you are in pain and grieving for a loved one. But this was his choice." Peter found himself wrapped into Drax's embrace, while Gamora plucked his arms away from Yondu's body.

Tears clouded his eyesight, but Peter could make out Rocket and Kraglin (who didn't say anything) take Yondu's body and move towards the bridge. Things happened in a blur after that. Peter did rage against Drax's hold for a bit, but he was weak from the whole fighting against a planet and crying his heart out for a space-pirate who happened to be his… daddy.

 _Daddy._ The word Yondu had used. The Centaurian didn't claim to be his daddy, he only hoped to be perceived as such. And Peter could see it now, but it was too late. Sometimes, the thing you've been looking for your whole life is right there beside you all along.

 **The end.**


End file.
